The Colbert Report/Episode/515
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro Happy Birthday, Abe! * Abraham Lincoln's 200th birthday * one of our greatest Presidents * Stephen is the only one who can wish Lincoln in person ** lead His Mob in a stirring rendition of "Happy Birthday" ** America's Greatest Non-Reagan President * Abe needs a little fun * Dr. Colbert removes the stovepipe hat to replace it ... ** ... and discovers Lincoln was a unicorn! ** Mary Todd wasn't crazy after all Another Obama Scandal * campaign poster by Shepard Fairey * more popular than Ferraro's poster by Georgia O'Keefe * Fairey countersued AP * Manny Garcia took the original photo ** scares Stephen * all this legal talk confuses him ** almost as bad as the last time he watched "Wheel of Fortune" *** Pat Sajak needs to stop playing mind games * Stephen's gut tells him that everyone is right, he has no idea who to support * to help former Dir of Whitney Museum David Ross ** former SF Museum of Modern Art * he says Fairey has the right to do what he did * he says Stephen could take Mona Lisa * resident copyright lawyer, Dr. Colbert's brother Ed ** copyright lawyer with Kenyan & Kenyan, LLP * says AP can sue * asks Ross if the original photographer has rights too ** Manny has to say it's art * Ed says Kitty is fine; she's in the audience * test for copyright is original, unique * does Obama have any claims on it * public figure cannot control the use of their image * Ross calls Stephen a commercial public figure * Ed will get a drink after the show * Obama has two rights * Ed defended AP, photographer and Obama without distinction ** he only believes who ever pays him is right * believes Shepard Fairey is right The DaColbert Code * Dr. Colbert has been gifted with an arcane * American Psychiatric Society calls it schizophrenia; Stephen calls it The DaColbert Code * Who killed John F. Kennedy? ** it was suicide! * Oscar Night ** last time, Dr. Colbert predicted them all ** He's never seen the movies; he's only seen the posters outside the theater while he's protesting * Best Supporting Actress ** Penelope Cruz * Best Actress ** Kate Winslet * Best Supporting Actor ** Heath Ledger * Best Actor ** Sean Penn, no, no (Dr. Colbert won't have it) *** Mickey Roarke * Best Picture ** Slumdog Millionaire * they could give it to the Curious Case of Benjamin Button * take all the bailout money and bet it in the White House Oscar pool ** it's safer than a bank UPDATE (from the future) On Oscar night (February 23, 2009) * Dr. Colbert did indeed pick all the winners, since Sean Penn did win and when he was onstage he mentioned Mickey Roarke. Interview * Adam Gopnik * book: "Angels and Ages: A Short Book about Darwin, Lincoln, and Modern Life" * Lincoln and Darwin both fought wars, but Darwin's was against God * his theory that Darwin assassinated Lincoln * he argues Lincoln and Darwin ** looking back we can see how * Stevie Wonder and Stephen share the same birthday ** using his astrology * what they have in common with us ** what they left us * claims Darwin had a spiritual side ** his wife was an Evangelical * Darwin wrote On the Origin of Species to convince his wife * wrote his book that spiritual people needn't be threatened * Stephen is very tolerant of his wife's beliefs * how Lincoln changed the way liberal democracies can defend themselves ** Stephen blacked out * Republicans believes at that time was spreading rights * many people helped things change in addition to Darwin and Lincoln * dispute what the last words said over Lincoln's body on his death bed ** now he belongs to the angels or ages Epilogue * Dr. Colbert didn't see us come back from commercial, because TV works in only one direction * Conan O'Brien is moving to LA to host Tonight Show ** loves his zany characters *** FedEx Pope *** Coked-up Werewolf *** Andy Richter * Stephen begins to cry * Stephen stole the invisible strings to do his little pocket dance ** they're going on Dr. Colbert's Shelves of Honor * if he ever wants to do his dance again, he has to come back to New York and get his strings back * watch Conan's show every night ... ** it's on at the same time as The Report! ** Oh Noes! Gallery Image:CULincolnSkullHorn.jpg Image:StephenLincolnSkullWithHorn.jpg Image:O'KeefeFerraroPoster.jpg Image:ColbertMannyGarcia.jpg Image:ConfusedByWheelOfFortune.jpg Image:EdColbert2-12-2009.jpg Image:RossColbertColbert2-12-2009.jpg Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments